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| Above: Newlywed Christians John and Linda McCue. |
CHARLESTON, SC--John and Linda McCue, joined in holy matrimony
Sunday before friends, family and their Lord at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran
Church, said the incredibly awkward wedding-night consummation of their love
was "well worth the wait."
"I'm so glad we waited until we got married--it made it
so much more special," said the 26-year-old Linda, who is "pretty
sure" John's penis penetrated her vaginal opening during the brief, fumbling
lovemaking session. "I can't imagine what a letdown our first sexual
experience would have been if we'd done it at some point during our five years
of dating."
John, 27, agreed. "As I prepared, sweat-drenched and terror-struck,
to insert my semi-erect penis into my petrified new bride, I couldn't help
but think what a precious, magical moment it was. Then, as Linda started to
cry out from the anticipation of pain from the first-ever breaching of her
tightly constricted vaginal walls, a tear of joy streamed down my cheek."
According to the devout Lutherans, after retiring to their bridal
suite at the Charleston Marriott East, Linda decided to initiate the evening
of romance and dread by excusing herself to the bathroom, where she spent
"approximately an hour" changing into the floor-length cotton nightgown
she had purchased especially for the occasion.
Recalled John: "When I saw Linda emerge from the bathroom,
a vision in billowing, opaque cloth, her head and hands peeking tantalizingly
from the tight collar and cuffs, the moment we first fell in love came rushing
back to me in a wave of adoration and fear."
After an estimated 45 minutes spent in prayer and devotionals
to ensure the smoothest possible act of coitus, John made sure the windows
and doors were all securely locked, and that all windowshades and blinds were
closed. He then reached to his nightstand to turn out the lights "to
contribute to the feeling of romance" and "because Linda refused
to let me touch her nightgown until the room was completely dark."
Trembling in giddy anticipation and fright, the longtime couple
climbed under the sheets and blankets, where John took his place on top of
his blushing, sobbing bride.
"As with millions of young newlyweds who haven't yet had
sex," John said, "there was some nervousness and confusion at first.
But after a couple of minutes, we figured out that it would be easier if Linda
separated her legs to facilitate entry."
Penile insertion was somewhat complicated by John's refusal
to assist the navigation process by touching himself--an act the Bible strictly
prohibits--but a few more minutes of unsteady shifting and jabbing enabled
his penis to "almost certainly" enter Linda.
Having at last achieved probable sexual congress, the couple
was brought to new heights of nervous, clumsy passion. "As I ran my trembling
hands over John's rigid shoulders," Linda said, "I said a prayer
thanking our Lord Jesus for giving us the strength to wait for this wonderful,
fulfilling moment. It certainly was every bit as special as I'd hoped."
Added Linda: "I'm sure the first time isn't anywhere near
as magical for all those young people who don't save themselves for marriage.
Now I know why God wanted us to wait."
As the sexual act wore on, Linda said it grew gloriously tolerable,
describing the experience as "endurable beyond my wildest dreams."
"Toward the end," she said, "I was almost relaxed
enough to enjoy myself, and then, of course, John ejaculated." Linda
declined to elaborate on her new husband's sexual climax, but said, "I
can definitely say that the encounter, which yesterday would have been an
unforgivable sin in the eyes of God, was noticeably pleasurable, and probably
even somewhat erotic in nature."
John agreed wholeheartedly, calling their wedding-night union
"the most exciting minutes of my life." Immediately after finishing,
the newlyweds took turns showering.
As for the future of the couple's sex life, John said he is
full of hope. "I'd like to maybe try actually touching Linda's vagina
with my hand at some point," he said. "Then again, I don't want
to rush things. Also, I've heard that the vagina kind of smells bad."
"I certainly hope the Lord will now bless us with a child
after this wonderful night," Linda said. "If not, we may be forced
to repeat this beautiful experience." |
